Sleep Well
It all started in the early morning of October 27, it was about 4:30 and I woke up excited by that horrible nightmare, the first of many, although at that time I did not know. That was the first time I dreamed about my own death, being a dream I do not remember clearly the succession of events that led me to such a fatal resolution, but what I do not forget is the sensation.
The feeling of pain and fear that henceforth would recur every night, the curious thing is that in my dream I could see my body stamped against the ground, as if I saw in third person. The scene was not exactly pleasant, much of my body had become unrecognizable, and the few parts of my body that I could identify.... They were not where they should have been. The blood mark I had left... God, I didn’t know I had that much.
However, that morning I did not give much importance, I took the opportunity to get up a little earlier than usual to prepare myself calmly for my new job. It turns out that they had hired the company I worked for to finish the construction of a new building near 27th Avenue, the previous company left the construction almost finished. Something must have happened, I mean I don’t think they did all that work and then left without getting paid so close to finishing, but they didn't tell us anything.
I was the first one to arrive, so while I was waiting for the director of the project to arrive to give us the directions I decided to explore the place a little. Indeed, the construction was almost done, only two or three floors were missing to build, if everything went well we would finish in 3 months at most. The construction was impeccable, indicating that they had not been fired for having done a bad job, the question of why they had not finished caused me more curiosity.
The rest of the day was pretty normal. We didn’t make much progress in the construction, we just unloaded and organized the materials while we evaluated the plans and distributed the work.
That night when I arrived at my home I could not stop wondering why the previous team had not finished, but I was already very tired so I preferred to go to sleep without giving it many laps. Again that horrible nightmare did not let me rest, however, I managed to remember something else this time, even if it was not much. I remember a broken window, I remember looking out and appreciating the city, from the height of the building, it was a beautiful view and, I don’t know why, I found it melancholic. I remember leaning on it and cutting myself with one of the windows, after that I was on the pavement again.
The time I woke up shouldn’t have been much different than the day before, maybe 10 or 15 minutes apart. This time more tired and exhausted, I felt that I had barely slept. Still, I decided to get ready for work, I felt that if I went back to bed the nightmares would come back to me.
Again, I was the first to arrive, free time and morbidness made me check the windows of the highest floors, but none matched the view of my dreams that had been burned into my mind. When I was about to go check the windows on the other floors I was interrupted by my colleagues who were getting ready to work.
After the first day I took advantage of lunch to ask my colleagues if anyone knew why the previous team had not finished the work, none gave me answers, in fact, most had not questioned it, all they cared about was that they had work and money to bring food to the table. I decided to do the same thing.
And so, the same routine was repeated for just over a month. Every day I felt more the weight of my body when I got out of bed, the nightmares did not let me sleep and I felt my head about to explode, I did not understand why I still had the same dream, I even planned to go to the doctor, but I didn’t have enough money to go to a specialist and pay for all those expensive exams.
In my desperation I decided that day I would ask the director of the project or perhaps the contractor to see if anyone could tell me why the previous team had abandoned it. The construction manager didn’t tell me much, only that he had been given an order to be unusually vigilant about the safety of the workers. When I asked the contractor, I was surprised at his instinctively defensive attitude, I had already spoken to him before so I knew he didn’t normally behave like this, He told me that he knew nothing and if he did, he was not obliged to share that information with me and that if I did not have enough of that answer nothing would stop me from withdrawing from the building.
Clearly something wasn’t right, but I needed the job, I needed the money, so I continued, besides, no matter what had happened, the security had already been increased so I should be fine, that I want to believe at least.
Last week I decided not to go to work, all this time without sleep was affecting me and it was evident that whatever attracted these nightmares was related to this work. At first I did not notice, but with the passage of these months I have managed to remember more things, I remember how I got there, I remember taking a taxi and telling the driver to take me to the new building that was about to be inaugurated, I remember he was locked up and climbing against a nearby trash can to reach a window on the second floor that was open, I remember climbing the stairs of the building, totally in the dark and without anyone else on it. I also remember feeling like I went looking for something, something very important, but I still can’t remember that.
January 2, 3:00am, the work is already finished and tomorrow will be the grand opening of the building, however, before that I have something very important to do. I find myself in front of the window, I just broke it with my bare fist, the view is beautiful but still I cannot decide if it brings me relief or sadness, I approach the edge of the window, ready to recover what several months ago I lost in this building.
Today I can finally sleep in peace. I close my eyes and all my nightmares stay in the building I just jumped out of.
By Mario Sandoval Tilano, Step 10 Yellow
