Detective Clueless
B: "Larry!"
L: "Yes boss?"
B: "I've just been told that the mayor has been shot!"
L: "Oh geez boss! Do we know who did it?"
B: "No! This here town has gone far too long without having a detective, and it's come back to bite us!"
L: "Man, if there was only someone who would be willing to help us solve this mystery."
B: "I wonder..."
(Perry the mailman rings the doorbell.)
P: "Special delivery!"
B: "Who's that for?"
L: "I think that's for me boss, I ordered some pork belly from the local butcher, did you know he delivers now?"
B: "That's really something alright..."
(Boss and Larry answer the door.)
P: "Did somebody order porkbelly?"
L: "Yeah me, here's the tip."
P: "Wow, 2 cents, real generous of you."
L: "No need to thank me, now scram!"
B: "Wait, Mr. Mailman or whatever your name is-"
P: "The name's Perry."
B: "Right, Perry, we need something from you."
L: "We do?"
B: "Hush it Larry, I see potential in that kid."
(Boss and Larry bring Perry inside of their office. Their goal? To make Perry a detective and have him find out who killed the mayor.)
P: "Why am I here again?"
B: "Look kid, there's a murderer on the loose, and it's gonna be your job to find him."
P: "Woah man, I just came here to deliver some pork belly, who says I'm gonna be the next Sherlock?"
B: "I says yous gonna be the next Sherlock!"
P: "That makes no sense-"
B: "Quiet, you! Larry, pass me that cool hat we have in the hat drawer."
L: "The hat? Which one boss? There are like 20 hats in that drawer!"
B: "The cool one larry."
L: "None of them are 'cool' boss, they look like they were made in the prehistoric era!"
B: "All of them do, except one."
L: "Don't tell me you're thinking about that hat."
B: "I clearly am Larry, now pass me that hat!"
L: "Surely you're kidding, you want that weird mailman to wear that hat?"
P: "What's so special about that hat anyways?"
B: "Don't question that hat! Now Larry, do as I say."
L: "Fine boss, but I better get a raise for this."
(Larry pulls 3 secret levers, revealing a secret corridor in the office. He walks into the corridor, and retrieves a dusty cap.)
L: "Here it is boss, hope you're happy."
B: "Ah yes, the hat."
P: "Why did you put some random hat in a magical secret corridor? Surely it can't be that important."
B: "Oh trust me, it's more important than you'll ever know."
P: "Does it have superpowers or something?"
B: "No, I just think it looks cool."
P: "That makes sense."
(Boss puts the hat on Perry.)
B: "Perfect!"
P: "How will this make me a better detective?"
B: "It won't, I just think it looks cool."
P: "That's fair."
B: "Now to start with the detective work."
(Boss, Perry, and Larry go to the scene of the crime. It's in Town Square, near the city fountain.)
P: "Ooh, that body seems pretty dead to me."
L: "Oh really?"
B: "Calm down Larry, he's a novice at this."
L: "Whatever you say boss."
P: "The victim has several holes in his body. I think this is a metaphor for something."
L: "Metaphor for what? Those are clearly bullet wounds!"
B: "Wait Larry, I think he's onto something."
P: "What else do you know that has holes in it? Exactly. Swiss cheese!"
L: "What does cheese have to do with this?"
P: "It's not about the cheese, Larry. It's about the Swiss."
B: "So you're saying the man who did it is from Switzerland?"
P: "That's what they want you to think Mr. Boss, we need to dig deeper. What else is from Switzerland? That's right, chocolate!"
L: "While Switzerland is known for its chocolate, chocolate was actually first created in Mexico!"
P: "Quiet Larry. Who here makes chocolate?"
B: "The baker works with chocolate a lot, maybe it could be him."
P: "Ah yes, to the bakery we go!"
(Boss, Perry, and Larry all go to the bakery to confront the baker. They notice that the bakery is filled with policemen and the baker is nowhere in sight. They go to talk to Officer Tom.)
P: "Hey officer, where's the baker?"
T: "We arrested him a while ago for killing the mayor."
P: "Hold on, how did they beat me to the chase! I thought I was the first to solve this mystery!"
T: "There was a note left at the crime scene that said that it was the baker. We went here to ask him about it and he confessed on the spot."
P: "Oh, so my incredibly deductive 1000 iq reasoning was all for nothing?"
T: "Guess it was."
B: "Perry, you're fired."
P: "Man...."
By Andrés Díaz, Step 9 Blue
