The Rage
“Where am I?” I remember seeing very bright lights and fast flashes, but what caught my attention were the giant white spots walking around me. They walked quickly around me and spoke in an idiom strange to me. I felt out of my body, I felt strange. I tried to lift my head but I got dizzy and had the urge to vomit.
“Walk, walk, sleep on, walk through the lights” Those eight words were the only thing I heard all night that I was awake, their voices were cold and turbulent when singing that song. I got scared, and I tried to get out of the handcuffs with all the strength that I had. I saw how they injected a red liquid into my neck and I had the need to sleep and pray that this was only a dream.
Silence
Silence
Silence
White Sound
“¡Caucasian men with cardiorespiratory failure, room 4!”
“¡Defibrillator!” “¡Clear 1!” “¡Clear 2!” “¡Clear 3!”
“Time of death 12pm”
***
I’ve never been so scared in my life as when I woke up again. I was not in the dark room, nor were the white giants walking around me. I looked at my body and there were no signs of handcuffs. It was no doubt that it was a hospital, it smelled like death. I couldn't remember what happened last night, or my name. I looked at both sides and saw a piece of information glued to the side of the door where I came out. I tear it up with despair and read everything my eyes allowed me.
“Duncan Donovan”
“Caucasian Male”
“35 Years old”
“Neuro Psychotic Crisis”
I dropped the paper and started walking to the nearest exit to escape from that place. I saw her a few meters from me and I didn’t mind making noises and I ran. A chubby nurse came out of nowhere with a paper and a pen in his hand.
“Where do you think you’re going, master?” I backed up and started babbling to try and explain myself.
“I-I dont kn-know where” She interrupted me and grabbed my arm to pull me back.
“Yes, yes. Clearly you’re from the crazy section. Come with me, honey” I felt very light after she took the syringe off my arm. And again everything went black for me.
I woke up after 10 in the morning on a stretcher,while I saw how different doctors rushed from one side to the other.A nurse came into the room and forced me to get up and put me in a line with different patients in straitjackets. Since I first woke up in this place, I have blank memories. I don’t know who I am, or why I’m here, or if those people from the other night were real or if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. The line advanced and the patients started to move until we arrived at a windowless dining room with small plastic tables and pillows like chairs. They sat us at a distance to make it safe and served us food with caution. The food in the place was simple ans tasteless, they always put on rubber spoons and polyester cups.
The rumbling of the doors interrupted my snack when a girl was being dragged by doctors and screaming loudly:
“¡I’ve been here nine years and they don’t believe me, you bastards! I’m not lying”Her words immediately called my attention and I turned to look at her.
“¡They are real, They are coming for us!” They pushed her and she fell to the floor with a noise. She got up and shook her pants to sit at the table farther away from me. I got up and slowly walked to her table and then I sat without stopping looking at her. She was so focused on her food that she didn’t realize I was beside her.
“I thought it would never work” She looked sirius (serious) when she turned to me.
“Duncan Donovan, aren't you?” I got confused until she talked.
“Who’s doing this to you, Duncan?”Every time she spoke she kept his voice down until it was just a whisper. “This isn't real, you have to come with me”
“You know who are they, the white giants” I told her surprised
“Of course I know who they are, that’s why I’m here, to prevent it from happening again” She got up from the table and started screaming uncontrollably as she hit the floor. It only took a few seconds for the nurses to get here and take her out of the dining room. As I looked back at the table I saw that in this pillow there was a paper with a few words:
“Room 808 20h”
Ten minutes later they send us to our rooms and lock us up again. At 8 o'clock I checked that there was no one there and I went up the stairs to the 8th floor like a soul led by the devil. Room 808 was the last room, I ran and looked through the glass and there she was waiting for me.
“What the heck is going on? I need you to tell me” She approached a few centimeters.
“Your body was found a few days ago, you were on some kind of astral journey or something. I’m Claire Singer, FBI agent in charge of the paranormal section”
“What’s an FBI agent doing in an asylum? I asked while smiling.
“Save your own skin, you idiot. I entered this place a few days ago through magnetic regressions in the brain and I had to call your attention in some way, today we return”
“Where?”
“To the real reality” When she finished saying that she got defibrillators from her back.
“Lay on the floor” I listened to her and I lay on the floor, she approached me and stood beside me.
“I need you to trust in me” She connected to the electricity and looked at myself. I nodded and she turned them on and it was only for a second that I felt the electricity passing through my chest and then I felt nothing.
A light woke me up and I jumped scared and fell on the floor. I looked up and saw Claire and several agents looking at me from a desk with guns. A doctor helped me up and I saw that I was no longer in the asylum, I felt that I was in a worse one.
“Subject four hundred and thirty-nine, test successfully passed” would like to say that after that I remember more things or that I could have my happy ending, but I didn’t. I just fell, in a very dark place where not even the slightest sunlight reached. I guess that’s death, losing what you love most. My problem is that the only thing that gave meaning to my strange life was sunlight. No family, no children, no wife, no identity. I just fall in the mist and never wake up.
By Natalia Sanabria, Step 9 Blue
