A Cause and Effect Essay
Love is not dead, it is simply looked for in the wrong places. Love is in fact not dead, it is alive and well, but cultivating it has become a really hard labor in today's scenario. The fundamental values are lost and instead replaced by an aggressive mentality, the line between desire and affection is blurred, it seems that no one could recognize the feeling of true love even if it was in front of them, like finding a needle in a haystack. Instead, unwritten rules dictate our behavior, and everyone is expected to be aware of and follow them blindly. Now love is being pushed down everyone's throat by books, movies, videos but we become in love with the concept rather than in the essence, we idealize love, but we don't have any notion of what it truly is, leaving generations of young people looking everywhere for it, adrift and without knowing what to truly expect.
How many times have we heard “love is dead”? How many times have we believed that? Is not like we don't have any reasons to not, in fact, someone could argue that as time has passed, there seems to have been a clear difference between dating culture then and now, and while this could be result of many factors like the empowerment of women and their effort to gain equal rights in terms of recognition, leading them to get out of asphyxiating expectation towards dating and so, what we could also consider as a main factor is the heavy influence that social media and culture have in young minds, still in development.
Ghosting, benching, DTR, love bombing, the 3 month rule, ick and situationship. Anything that sounds familiar? In today's scene it is not uncommon to see this type of terminology used in order to talk about dating and/of any kind of relationship regarding two individuals with a particular interest in each other.
When looking up terminology used in today’s dating space it is easy to become confused and almost feel like it’s necessary a glossary to understand today's society especially among young people. For example, ghosting is the act of cutting off the other person without any apparent reason for an undefined period of time, leaving them with uncertainty, benching is used to refer to the act of being left in a state of limbo as the other part explores different options, generating feeling of anxiety and frustration, and so on with all the complex terms existing.
In this type of world it is not big of a surprise that online dating has become the cornerstone of romance. As society becomes more and more dependent on digital platforms the internet has transformed into the perfect place to not only meet and discover new people but also to present yourself as the best of you, to project the perfect image and become more desirable, a space to connect virtually without the necessity of becoming emotionally responsible for no one. Someone could pick to chat with another based purely on looks and the moment they become uninterested they could just stop responding, once the screen is turned off there’s a whole different life to continue.
This has not only changed the way we see relationships (as something purely momentary and detached) but also the concept itself of love, thus transforming societal norms and expectations. How we socialize, how we perceive others and ourselves is guided by this mentality. By making the primary source of communication virtual, face-to-face relationships begin to experience troubles communicating effectively, leading to more feelings of unhappiness and concern, intimacy has grown old, as being online hinders the ability to fully connect with one another and rust issues can also spike due to the many options available, the sole fact of referring to other potential partners as options reflects how much detachment has affected us, starting by the dehumanization of others.
Love has gone from being a pinch of light entering someone's life to a carefully orchestrated algorithm, from spontaneous chemistry to calculated swipes left and right. Therefore it is essential to remind ourselves that love is not a “like”, or a “match”, is not the person in your dm’s asking for nudes, or the one that leaves and only comes back when is bored. Love is a reaction in our brains and hearts, is serotonin and dopamine filling our body, is real and it’s found everywhere. Whenever a feeling of frustration enters your body, take a walk, go to a park and watch the animals, the flowers, the nature, the mothers with their babies, this is love. When we, as society realize this, will be one step ahead of raising better human beings
"True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does." -Torquato Tasso
By: Veronica Inés Ortiz Güette and
María Victoria Villalobos C., Step 10
